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While a press conference regarding the Seaview’s launch of an intercept missile to halt a sabotaged rocket launched
by the People’s Republic was halted by order of the president of the United States, at least we were treated to the
most unusual sight of the famous American Admiral Harriman Nelson in a skirt. Or rather, a kilt.
He was, of course, trying to honor Scotland but wore, by mistake, an Irish Nelson tartan, not a Scottish one.
Most Americans hardly know the ancestry of their grandparents not to mention cultural nuances such as the difference between
tartans belonging to families of the same name.
Nelson has two kilts, purchased by his adopted son and former president, Captain, the Honorable Lee Nelson-Crane who picked
them up on a culinary tour of Europe quite a while ago. You may remember that tour, whereby the captain became known as the
‘Hero of Paris’, little knowing that he would also become the ‘Hero of Washington DC’.
BREAKING NEWS
Angus McDonald and Captain Nelson-Crane laid low from food poisioning
The investigation is ongoing, and both are recovering, but it is believed the culprit was rat poison that found its way into
a batch of blood pudding processed at McDuff's Meats and served at several Inverness hotels and restaurants.
So far only Mr. McDonald and Captain Nelson-Crane have been affected and both are recovering well.
If you find yourself suffering from any kind of stomach distress after having had some blood pudding, go to your local emergency
room at once.
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