My Journal

By Harriman Nelson

15

I shouldn’t have had a bad night.  But I did, despite Emily’s ministrations. I managed to fall asleep in the wee hours and was awakened by an unexpected call from HR. It was 0810 and I'd over slept, though I didn't actually have a set schedule. So I guess I hadn't really over slept in the technical sense.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Emily asked, entering the bedroom as I hung up, groaning. She was garbed in a flowery housecoat, the kind with snaps down the front. In spite of the grandmotherly style and curlers in her hair, I found the image delightful, tempting me to forget what HR had called about.

“I have to meet with Ron and tell him HR found him a job.”

“So, what’s wrong? I’m sure Lee won’t mind the slight delay for your outing on his sailboat.”

“My stomach hurts. Where’s the pink stuff?”

“Harry, darling. You really need a second opinion. I’m sure your Med Center has a gastroenterologist. You can go after your meeting with Ronald. You go get dressed. I’ll call Lee and let him know you have to postpone things or take a rain check. Those exams take awhile.”

“All right, all right,” I sighed, "but my previous exam didn't take too long." 

“Your health is far more important than some time out of the office with your adopted son.”

“Why did you use that term, adopted?” I asked, surprised,“he’s not a paper son to me, Emily.”

“Just an expression.  I didn’t mean anything by it, really.”

“I know, sorry. I’m just on edge about this job for Ron. I…think I’m going to be sick….”

I raced to the bathroom and was.

Three bottles of 7-Up later, and two doses of the pink stuff, I was feeling well enough to have a couple of bites of toast, but Emily wouldn’t allow me to have any coffee.

“You’ll call me from the Med Center after the exam?”

“Yes, dear,” I said, sounding like an old married man.

“And you will call your motor pool to send  a car? I don’t want you driving alone in that ‘iffy’ condition.”

“I think I’m well enough for that and….”

“And I think I’ll withhold certain privileges tonight if you drive yourself.”

“Blackmail?”

“Definitely. Now, what’s it to be.”

“I’ll be good.”

“You’d better,” she said and kissed me again. “And good luck with the meeting too.”

My driver didn’t ask. At least I didn’t feel quite like puking on the drive to the office, but how the hell was I going to tell Ron about his new job?

He was waiting for me in the outer office, along with Jessica. He, in a rather well tailored business suit, she in a pretty yellow dress with matching shoes and handbag.  Both were holding fine china coffee mugs, the silver service on the coffee (appropriate) table. I had to wonder if Angie had set out real sugar instead of that half sugar/half chemical stuff, and if the ‘moo juice’ was milk or cream.

“Dad!” Ronald rose, and grabbed my hand. “Well? HR wouldn’t tell me what the new job is. But I bet it’s a great one if they wanted you to tell me. So, am I your consultant or something?”

“We’ll be in my office, Angie. Please see to it that we’re not disturbed.”

“Yes, sir,” she nodded with a compassionate glance only I could see. Yes, it was apparent she knew.

I sat down behind my desk this time. HR had lain the job description on my desk.  More ‘official’ looking that way. I’d also decided on dress blues, giving me that ‘edge of authority.

“Well, Dad?” Ron asked as he and Jessica sat down. “Where and when do I start?”

“It’s not what you think,” I said gently, picking up the page and handing it to him. “But it’s the only opening there is.”

I swear his face morphed from interest to dismay to horror as he read it.

“A janitor?” he said, aghast. “You want me to be a janitor?”

“It’s a vital job in any industry.”

“Lee put you up to this, didn’t he?”

“Lee doesn’t know anything about it.”

“Yeah, sure. What about your promise that you could invent something for me?”

“Not for someone with a current reprimand on file, HR tells me. It’s in the bylaws.”

“How convenient,” Jessica said.

“There’s no shame in working as a custodian. It’s not just dumping ash trays, mopping the floors, or cleaning the toilets. Our custodians are also on a rotation schedule tending to the marine mammal environments and aquariums.”

“I have to scrub out the grunge in the whale and dolphin pools? It’s poop!”

“The filters take care of the worst of it, and you’ll also be maintaining the proper chemical balance. I know it’s not the kind of job you want, but at least you’d be able to work out your period of probation.”

“He’d still be paid for it if he didn’t, I understand,” Jessica said.

“True, it's one of those special business perks we have, but then he wouldn’t have a chance to be considered for further employment afterwards.”

“Boy oh boy, Crane’s got me by the cojonies, doesn’t he,” Ron muttered.

“I told you, Lee has no knowledge of this.”

“Where is he? Hiding in the head, as you call it,  eavesdropping, laughing at me?”

I dialed security and clicked on the speaker phone.

“Has Captain Nelson-Crane checked in today?”

“No, sir.”

“Connect me to HR.”

“Admiral?” the director asked

“Did you inform Captain Nelson-Crane about the opening you found for Mr. Nelson?”

“No, sir. Do you want us to inform him? We can have security locate him even if he’s on leave.”

“No, that won’t be necessary,” I said, hanging up, then, “will it, Ron? You don’t have to accept the position. But I was rather hoping you would. Nelsons, as a rule, aren’t quitters. You don’t have to decide today. But HR will need an answer by noon tomorrow. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to the Med Center.”

“Nothing serious, I hope,” Jessica said.

“Just a little more tummy trouble.”

“But the session,” Ron said.

“Apparently hasn’t worked as we hoped it would. Ron, I really do hope you’ll decide to take the job. Prove to me you’re every bit the Nelson I believe you can be.”

He bent his head, somewhat like my grandfather did when pondering an answer he didn’t want to give.

“I can start tomorrow.”

“You can’t be serious!” Jessica said, horrified.

I rose and shook Ron’s hand.

“Good boy. See you tomorrow.”

And so, I’m writing this up, as Angie is letting the Med Center know that I need to be seen asap for a lingering tummy upset.

Oh joy.