My Journal
By Harriman Nelson
55
The knock on my door startled me out of my musings. I’d spent most
of my time locked in my cabin since last night, alone and despondent. I was in
no mood for visitors so I ignored the pounding.
“Admiral? It’s Will, open up or I’ll have the door forced.”
“Oh for Pete’s sake, can’t you just leave me alone?” I think I
might have slurred, while I fingered Lee’s Nelson ring. My late son’s ring.
That’s what he was now, in his mind at least, dead to me.
“That does it,” I heard Chip saying, “go ahead Ski.”
There was a minor ‘poof’ and the doorknob fell off and onto the
deck as Will and Chip entered.
“Cookie reports you haven’t eaten all this time,” Chip began then
noticed the smoke swirling in the air. “My God, you were supposed to have quit,
weren’t you? Smells like booze in here too. Go ahead Doc, take whatever action
you feel necessary. And,” he said looking at me firmly, “all cigarettes and
alcohol are hereby confiscated and restricted for you until further notice.
Kowalski? Dump what’s left of that whiskey down the head.”
“How long have you been smoking on the sly?” Doc asked.
“Only when I’ve needed to,” I hiccupped, a side effect of my
smoking and the bottle of spirits I’d pretty much drained.
Will began to poke and prod while Chip ordered an industrial fan
be brought to my cabin, and had the boat’s air scrubbers turned on to the max.
Then he sat down across from me. “This can’t go on, Admiral. I know you’re
hurting. But....”
“He’ll never come back to Seaview, now,” I said, “or to me.”
“Maybe not to Seaview, I’ll admit that after what you told me. But
Lee will come back to you, I’m sure of it.”
“I think,” I said firmly, “he’s pretty much proved that he wants
nothing further to do with me.”
“Now, look, I’ve seen Lee’s good moods and his bad. I’ve seen you
both argue till you’re both blue in the face, but you’ve always made up in the
end. You know, most folks can’t choose their parents or children. But you and
Lee, well, he thought of you as his father even before you realized you loved
him as son! I just can’t believe you’ve lost him. He was than upset with you, but
it’ll pass.”
“No it won’t. Did you see his eyes? The disappointment in them, the
anger? No, Chip. It’s over. Whatever we had, it’s over,” I said putting the ring
into my top right drawer and closing it, rather hard, as if to symbolize the
end. “Now, go away and leave me alone. And set a course for home. We’re done
with European waters.”
“BBC on the air,” Sparks interrupted on the PA, and the monitor
came to life.
“To recap yesterday’s excitement on the Island of Santorini, it was
first believed that Captain Nelson-Crane
had been arrested. However, the police have apologized for any
misunderstanding. There were also statements by the captain and Miss Melina
Gounaris....”
The image formed of Lee and Melina just outside of police station, the
reporters lying in wait.
“So you see,” Melina was saying, “Lee was brought here as a
precautionary measure to ‘arrest’ a possible medical problem, not ‘arrest’ him
as a criminal. Father Stephonolpolis and the congregation at the church hall
and everyone else simply misunderstood. There was some kind of bug aboard
Seaview and Admiral Nelson thought Lee might have been exposed to it, that’s
all. The police isolated him until the submarine’s doctor could examine him.
And the exam proved that he hadn’t caught the bug and that he isn’t contagious.”
“What kind of bug, Captain?” a reporter asked. “Why wasn’t Seaview
quarantined and her men kept there, including Admiral Nelson?”
Lee looked uncomfortable about the lies. Of course, he should have
simply exposed me for the fool I’d been, but he surprised me with
his answer.
“I don’t know the name of the virus,” Lee was saying,
“apparently, I’d been exposed before it had been isolated and contained aboard Seaview.
But I’m fine. Now, if you’ll excuse us,
we might just have enough time to return to the pot luck supper and have what’s
left of dessert...Baklava, I think.”
With that said, Lee and Melina, arm in arm, walked down the steps,
got into a waiting cab and were off.
“This morning,” the reporter continued, “it was reported that the couple
did indeed make it back to the pot luck supper in time for dessert. As
for rumors of a possible romance between the two, there is growing credence
that there is something special between them. In fact, today, Miss Gournaris
accompanied Captain Nelson-Crane and Commander Jackson on their rented sailboat
for a trip to the island of Sicily. With them was Sister Agnes from the Convent
of the Rose as chaperone to assure no damage is done to an unmarried woman’s
reputation.
“Now, in other news...”
The screen went blank.
“Well, Doc,” Chip returned
his attention to me, “how’s the admiral?”
“He’ll live, if he quits the smoking and drinking so much. Admiral...really,
I’d feel better if you accepted my resignation....”
“You heard the captain yesterday. He said no. And he’s still my
business partner until he turns in his resignation.”
“ ‘If’ he does,” Chip corrected.
“Excuse me,” Riley said by the door, “Cookie says, like, there’re
still some leftovers from dinner....”
“What...” I managed, “what time is it, anyway? I’m not in the mood
for anything. Not in the mood for anything Lee’s having....”
“Kinda’ doubt the skipper’s having Tuna Casserole, but....”
“But? Out with it, man!”
“Well, Cookie didn’t have that special kind of pastry for Baklava,
but he managed some cookie squares cut into triangles with a thick honey
glaze... says they at least look like the stuff.”
“I’m not sure Cookie should continue trying to match the tour’s
cuisine,” Chip said, “as we’re going to head for home.”
“But...the Madrid Museum, like, aren’t you’re expected there,
Admiral?”
“I was, but....I’m not going. The captain hates me. Why would he
want me to join him there? He hates the Nelson name, he hates being a Nelson… he
hates anything to do with me….”
“Riley,” Doc said quietly, “ask Cookie to send down a strong pot
of coffee and a little of the tuna casserole.”
“Right away, Doc.”
“Make it for three of us,” Chip said, “include dessert.”
“Aye sir,” the crewman said as he left, shaking his head in
sorrow.
“Food’s no cure,” I moaned.... “All I can think about is Lee. Damn
it, can’t you understand that it hurts to
think about him? What he’s doing, where he is, out of my life...forever....”
“Give me Lee’s ring, Admiral,” Chip said. “I’ll store it away for
you, out of sight.”
“It’s out of sight now.”
“Only if you keep that drawer closed. This way, you won’t even see
it by accident.”
He pulled the drawer open and picked it up, “I’ll be back in a
moment.”
I could only manage a few bites of the casserole as my stomach was
getting upset, and I soon required clear passage to the head. Doc had one of
the corpsmen bring me some pink stuff and after the worst of the sickness
passed, tucked me into bed.
I was drifting off when I heard Will and Chip discussing the situation
between Lee and me. They talked about what we’d been through together, what
we’d had together. Our friendship...our brotherhood...the love we’d had for
each other as father and son.
But all I could see was the look of betrayal in Lee’s eyes when
he’d cast the ring away.
Cast me away.
